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[08 Jul 2004|12:28pm] |
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new username= the_mush
wanted all friends only rather than just half
add me
Ive added most of us i think
I f ive mist neone out...comment
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[03 Jun 2004|03:25pm] |
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inme-faster the chase |
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hey ya'll i was guna change my hole jhournal into friends only...however i cant be fucked so from now on all my updates will be friends only...
if anyone want to be added to my list then comment and il see wot i can do
Thanx
x.:* Mush *:.x
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[31 May 2004|07:21pm] |
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inme-firefly |
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"torn apart by a pack of angry wolves"...
its all moved on from there...the stroy continues...
except now im a carcass which has been smelt out by one hyena...yet the hyena who find it and understands that if he had his own way his feast wud only be between my remains and himselfs...but insted his pack sense out that sumthings happened and decides to knaw at my rotting flesh aswell...
ive had his sister on the fone..trying to be hard..and funny but its not working..if she was in eprson she wudnt say nething..
his mum ryting me pointless emails...y cant she understand that its nuffin to do wiv her and its all to do wiv me and the savage that insists on coming back..
id rather have only creature feasting on my skeleton rather than the pack
but in my perfect world..but decaying fleshy shell wud be left..to rot into the ground and cause other lifeforms to take a beautifukl in this fukt up world
i wana be left alone..i wana die alone if it means not having hungry savages on my back, sides, arms, everything..
im crushing slowly and feel lyk moving into the past for easy stress releif...but i cant ive promised...i cant do that nemore..
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[31 May 2004|01:19am] |
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I just thought id add a lil summat i wrote ages ago...its my fave piece ive dun adn i thought id share it...
( My writing )
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[29 May 2004|10:11pm] |
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just a warning...making a lot of my journal friends only now...reasoin being incase my parents or just random people check up on me and i cant be arsed to share my personal stuff wiv the rest of the world where ne1 can get their dirty hands all voer them:D......sooooooo if u want me to add u if u cant read stuff then let me no and i will
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[27 May 2004|05:19pm] |
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mood |
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 relaxed |
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inme-trenches |
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I thought id update as i havent for a few days...
but now im completely stuck on what to say...
Well for starters i havent been sleeping properly at all...
I duno y..stress of exams maybe : wanting to make sure my life is ryt : making sure wot i do is the correct path to take : i duno
I cud do a daily diary i guess *grins*
Well.....
ok thats a bad idea...dont even remember wot i did on monday through to now...which isnt rily brilliant...i know ive revised a bit thats bout it...
Cuz i havent been sleeping ive been off on one of those worlds...where u feel so unreal its weird...
I duno if i mentioned nething bout a spirit being with me before...but ive always felt as if there was...ive had things strange happen to me lyk...laying in bed just abotut oge t to sleep *this was a while ago* and then my arm moving to a different beat as if resting on sumbody else...so i stop breathing..yet my arm still moves...Ive also herd noises...lyk wlaking outsyd my room b4 and then hearing a voice whispering..hes coming in..then my door gettin pushed open slightly by nothing...I think the spirit thats with me is a little girl...i dont know why and i dont know how..but i think it is a little girl...i was sitting outside my house the other day...either mondsay or tuesday and i heard little footsteps behind me...just thinking it was a little girl who was walking past...but then they stop and i herd "excuse me" in a little girls voice...more questioning rather than to move tho..: so i turned around to see wot she wanted and then there was no-one there...i dont get scared by paranormal things nemore...it just duznt seem to effect me...the only thing i hate is wen i do get scared by it...that makes me thinnk that woteva im gettin scared by is part of the evil side...which is kinda cool...but threatening...
Alot of people who read this probably think that im making all this shit up...but i dont...wots the point in that...to live a fake lyf and be sum1 who ur not...i dont seek attention lyk that...just sharing my thoughts feelings and experiences!
I went to see Inme last thursday in london...and emt a boy..his names richard and hes rily cool...we've bin gettin on rily well and tlaking on the net texting and fone calls wenever we can...hes oming dpwn to myn on saturday..he lives in london and eeeeeeeeeeee!!!
The pic im adding below is him without his mohawk...but he has l;yk a 6 inch one so imaginations need to play a part!!
Just for the record here are sum more pix of me...POSER : hence the description of it in my biography!
( click 4 me! )
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[24 May 2004|05:28pm] |
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happy |
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sad i know but--britney spears-everytime |
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my pic wont show up on here...duno y bvut there we go...
met a boy!!ames richard!!
me and him are gettin on really well at the moment and stuff...its all good..
met him at the Inme gig i went to on thursday...looked after me wen he dint even no me which was nice.
He myt be comign down this w/end and lets just hope he can make it to rachels partay!!!
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[24 May 2004|05:25pm] |
| MuSh is poisonous! Induce vomitting if ingested. | N
POISON |
From Go-Quiz.com
apparently :D
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[22 May 2004|09:55pm] |
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mood |
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inme-her mask |
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being torn apart by angry wolves...
wot to think
everyone i seem to have grown close to seems to ahve disappeared..
i love the person i am now..
single : free : surrounded :
but will i ever have neone...
as soon as i become single people are drifting..
as soon as im with sum1 people seem to attract to me lyk fire attracts to dried grass...
is there nothing left..
or shud i rephrase that to no-one
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| The last day of most of my life |
[20 May 2004|09:20am] |
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Travis-driftwood |
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Yesterday was amazing in a strange way...
saying goodbyes a difficult thing...
theres ppl who i love so much and only have known properly for around 2 years but i am now so close to that i will hardly ever see...
Carly : U have bin absolutely fucking fantastic...u were at our skl only a year and yet i cant imagine my tym without u...its felt lyk forever...over the past few months, especially, we have grown so much closer than i have ever bin wiv sum1 and its amazing..ur words that u spoke yesterday were amazing and i will never forget them...and i will never for the smiles!!
Nicola...dont think u can evern read this but thats cool...U have bin an amzing friend over the past few years...im guna me our sex talks...me being ur guru and everything..im guna have to find a new patient!!Hope u have a excellent tym at hills..and lets just hope u finally find the perfect man!!*hugs* im guna miss ur lil eeeeeeeees and big grin weneva ur happy or have sumamt to tell me!
wiv the others...becca tammy rahcel gemma ashley camille amy and all the others...it'll be cool cuz we're goin to the house...c ya there...but it'll be weird without others there to!!
wot really got me started yesterday with the tears was mr bennett (our hed of yr 2 ppl who dont know) singing driftwood : travis not a gr8 fan of the song myself...but now i know i will treasure it forever..the lyrics just seemed so perfect to be singing then...and penny...well dun let it be was amazing!
YEAR 11 99-04 GOOD LUCK TO EVERYONE LIVE YOUR DREAMS AND IM GUNA MISS EVERYONE
( Travis- Driftwood )
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[16 May 2004|10:34am] |
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I am feeling summat and to be honest im not exactly sure what...
i know im tired : thats cool : but theres rily summat that just fills me up with negativity gives me a down feeling and i duno wot it is : the fact i duno wot it is makes things even worse : I rily feel lyk i just wana curl up into a ball and sleep forever : tonys being annoying and just wont leave me alone : last nyt he called me and had a go at me for being out wiv my friends all day and not letting him no : im not even with him nemore : y shud i have to check in : makes him seem lyk my dad to me the way he wants me to call every hour and tell him im ok : or is it to make him feel betteer about himself : il never no :
Ive also been gettin the feeling of wanting to go home : but how can i want to go home when im already home : i remember last nyt sitting there with my mum and telling her i wanted to go home : she told i was already home : i just had to say oh yeh : y dont i feel at home here nemore : it rily duznt feel ryt : no i duno where my home is and i just wana find it : I want my home to be with sum1 that i love : that i know il love forever : someone who i get on with so well : someone who, if me and him were put together, wud make a gr8 team in our house : someone who i can ahve my kids wiv and whos gr8 with them : sum1 who will always be there : and lastly : sum1 i can trust : but its not a boyfriend i want ryt now : thats one of the last things i want : i cant be dealing with committment ryt now : its not that i wana be a slag and sleep with as many people as i can : its the fact that i have the freedom and no worry to do wot i want : if i get an offer and i want to : then i will : i dont have to worry : but agen not lyk im guna turn into a slag and have everyone : but the problem is with that is im not with tony : but i still ahve him on my back : pestering me : annoying me : blaming arguments on me when hes the one who started them in the first place : hes determined to get back together : despite us having arguments wen we're not even together nemore : in my opinion arguments wen ur not even together anymore is pretty pathetic : so wots the point in a relationship if we're guna argue wen we're not even together...
newyz im guna go ahve a drama rehearsal to get ready for yay miss dunn on a fuking sunday
x Mush x
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[09 May 2004|04:31pm] |
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rarararararra |
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well yestie was all good fun...went to camden with... carly : simon : damen : emma :kirsty and tye!!
i got quite a few things adn i absolutely loved it...it was all funny and gr8 to hang out wiv everyone...
to finish off a brilliant day, a brilliant nyt followed...a bbq at damens...how spectacular was that...
the nyt started off by putting up a gazebo...new favourtie word btw...then people turned up and the nyt was started by fire...
food got served...booze came out...basically it was a great nyt of drinking, smoking and hanging out wiv really really cool ppl.
QUOTE OF THE DAY : PIGEON!!!GAZEEEEEEEEBO
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[08 May 2004|12:44am] |
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trapt-headstrong : kittie-brackish : hoobastank |
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evening...or shud i say morning everyone!!...Just got in from POS...was quite good 2nyt..went for mother tabeccas birthday...music was good people were good...tony turned up...tony be grumpy and boring just standing had a go at me at teh end of the nyt...apparently i dint pay him enuf attention...well wot was i guna do..just stand there and miss moshing to all my favourite songs...i dont think so!! he told me to fuk off at the end...i shouted at him loads for that and he just shouted back...damen..bless his heart : poked me then askt me if i was ok : i thank him alot : neale...one word PIST...was funny and glad u went..not that ur guna remember nething of the nyt tho!...dan *hugs all round* im sorri...Carly : Mist a good nyt...
Highlights of my evening:: blink 182 : hoobastank : TRAPT-HEADSTRONG: kittie...brackish... : moshing wiv damen and neale...luv em both!!...wildore...im sure things'll be ok *hug* not that hes guna read this but hey!
well good nyt everyone...or good morn...im off to camden tomoz :) eeeeeeeeee
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[03 May 2004|02:51pm] |
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system of a down : bounce |
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well good m,orning world...i shud rikly say afternoon...
well wot an eventful evening last nyt...i got completely stoned outa my face and kinda drunk aswell i guess....was gone by 10...recovered by abour 3 am maybe...hm lets say 4 to be on the safe side....then i needed bread...but now finally at 14:57 i have sum and its gooooooooooood.
im in a rily weird mood...i duno wot the feeling is...its strange...
havent rily got that much to say...
hey everyone
and good nyt...
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[02 May 2004|09:46am] |
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pantera-im broken |
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the emotions given on here can give off the rong impression...lol its quite funny but also pretty starnge example...in an entry i was confused in a bad way...yet my sally was smiling..i wasnt smiling wen i was ryting that...and also once i sed my emotion was blah as in i cant be fukt wiv nething...and it was puking pah! aaaaaaaaaaa well.....i duno wot mood im in...
I made the mistake last nyt of smoking outa my room window wivout burning an insense...it still smells even tho ive sprayed and endless ammount of different deoderants, perfumes, body sprays etc, into my fan circulate it but it still smells...and my windows open! o well...
I think im off to pburu today shud be fun! Gettin underwear me hopes...i rily want more cds but i duno wot and i havent got ne muny for ne neway so theres rily no point in thinking about ones that i want! I need to get measured to...boob wise pah!
Im kinda hungry...maybe i shud go get showered and dressed to...nah! il eat first...not that i need to :)
( CARLY )
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[01 May 2004|05:00pm] |
well ive had an ok friday nyt...last nyt was fuking amazing!!!!!!!!Hostility against all...and the other band The flase macoy maybe...i duno...neways amazing,.... a bit of a suprise in hostility's set list...neale singing and omg neale!!!FUKING AMAZING...i was left toally gobsmacked..amzed...it was outstanding and c i told u u ahd nuffin to worry bout!...but fuk me hard!!AMAZING!!
Im guna marry the voice of greg...the elad singer of against all...nice screaming!!
and cameron...gave me a beracelet thank u huni *huggles*
I stayed at carlys which was all good fun!!and i rily need nicotine at the minute aaaa well friday over
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[29 Apr 2004|09:35pm] |
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seether feat amy lee-broken |
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tonyt was ok.....saw carly...i love her so much...she makes me happy....pah!made that sound lyk we were a cuple then love!!:) played killswitch enagage...made me hyper
i feel lyk shit now!!wooooooo shit...wot a way to feel lyk...
i feel thigns and not mean to hurt people...then dont feel them and still
am i that hard to understand?
look im questionning myself...i dont even understand me...maybe i am hard to understand...maybe im just confused i duno wot i want...do i want to be free? do i want sum1...i dont know nemore...wot am i guna do...promises ive made may be broken and im sorry...most of u wont understand...and it duznt matter if u dont..those who do im sorry...im sorry for everything, im a stupid lil girl...
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[29 Apr 2004|11:42am] |
hey all......im at skl...rily bored and actually fuking freezing..i just wana go home and curl up into a ball and sleep til friday nyt!!!then im off to ramsey!!!...oooooo hostility are playing how very exciting...aaaaaaaaa well...im bored and actually ahve nuffin to ryt...
i hate the public and i hate skl rules...im 16...legally aloud to smoke...but because im in middleschool...i cant go and smoke where al my friends in 6th form do...and i cant smoke in skl cuz whether ur 16 or not ur not allowed to...its fuking gay and teachers need to get a life and sort summat out because them not letting kids smoke where they usually do..is just guna amke them find sumwhere else and isnt guna stop them argh!+
carly GET UR ASS INTO SKL NOW!
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[28 Apr 2004|10:20pm] |
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from sutumn to ashes-short stories with tragic endings |
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i duno how i am ryt now...was quite good...now i just feel lyk shit
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[28 Apr 2004|04:07pm] |
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woke up...got dressed...had dance exams all morning..they went ok...got 20 b&h stolen from my bags in the changing rooms tho!!...so im pretty pist off bout that...although i ahve singing tonyt so it all evens out fyn...ui love it loads!!!oooooooo
QUOTE OF THE DAY--ragily bleh
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xmushx's journal